Posted by Julia Sogaard on 8:40 PM
Mmk, so I took my littles and joined my in-laws at the Great Minnesota Get-together yesterday and I must say... people watching just gets better every year. Don't even lie and say it's not a hobby of yours... I know I'm not alone in this.
So, just for funsies, I thought I'd list a few of the people you'll see at the Minnesota State Fair:
2. Creepy Carnie. Yeeeeeeah, if you could not touch my child and just take the tickets, that would be greeeeeat. First off, do they literally stay in trailers all year? Are their children with them? Do the kids go to school? Do they bathe regularly? I have so many questions, because this lifestyle is so bizarre to me. I want to sit them down for a nice little lecture about skin care and dental hygiene. But, let's be honest, if I had set-up and take-down heavy rides all year, then spend 12 full days at a time taking tiny paper tickets from sweaty kids and their crabby, exhausted parents, I would probably fake my own death and head to Mexico. Yeah, Mexico's a safe alternative.
|Mmmm, sweet nicotine... "Come aboard, kids!"|
|"I gotta be home by 10, yo'."|
|Oh, who am I kidding. This looks awesome.|
6. The Emo Kid Pretending They Don't Want Attention. "No way, dude, you're spiky black, pink and neon green hair and Covergirl eyeliner don't make you stand out at all." For realsies. Also, aren't you completely soaking in sweat under your over-sized JNCO jeans? I'm glad your "expressing" yourself, but your 40 year-old self called and he says you look like a douche-nozzle.
7. The Person Rockin' the Airbrush T-Shirt. Nothing says you love your kids more than wearing a creepy airbrushed picture of them. Better yet, why don't you have them write your boo's name on the shirt in some fancy cursive? Yeah, that's a good look. Don't change.
8. The Person Proudly Carrying Multiple Large Stuffed-Animal Prizes. Really? Do you really want that in your house? One is maybe fun to win, but how the hell do you bring them home? What possesses you to spend that much money playing a game that's obviously rigged to be harder than it should be for a stuff animal you could probably buy for a ten spot? I can't imagine a spot in my house where an nine foot Tweety Bird would look good. But, then again... I haven't seen your house, so who am I to judge?
|Yes! Took me 49 tries, but I finally won that big, pink dog!|
10. The Baby Being Changed Right Next To You. I'm a mom, I get it. There isn't always a great place to change your baby's diaper in public and you gotta do what you gotta do. But, c'mon... people are everywhere and they're EATING! If you can't get to a restroom with a changing table, try, at least, to be discreet about it and find a nice little corner. I'm sure your child would appreciate not being exposed to everyone on this list. Maybe you can find the man carrying the oversized Tweey Bird and use it to shield Junior's yoo-hoo.
11. The Person with the Killer Mullet. Yes! Brilliant! Nothing says State Fair more-so than business in the front, party in the back. Bonus points if the top is spiky or the back is longer than their shoulders. I absolutely love this sighting.
|So. Much. Awesome.|
13. The Girl Rockin' her Muffin-Top. "Yes! They fit! Honey, my jean shorts fit!" Umm, no they don't and crack is whack.
|Oh no she didn't!|
The End. Now, go eat your weight in cheese curds!