Posted by Julia Sogaard on 8:03 AM
Ok, so... call me cool, or whatever, because Momma is bloggin'! I decided to get all tech-y with my thoughts and share the inner workings of this thing I call a brain.
First up... some random facts. Interested? K, cool.
1. I am single-handedly funding the college education of the Redbull company's top exec's children.
2. I can't eat fish. Not because of the taste, but because my brain tells me it's gross.
3. I had an intervention with myself about my Oreo eating habit. So far, I've relapsed 3 times. Fingers crossed.
4. I'm fairly obsessed with Lester Holt & Brian Williams. We're BFFs in fake life.
5. Seeing actresses in mascara commercials wear fake eyelashes makes me want to punch the screen.
6. I talk to other drivers when I drive. "Whatcha doin' there, fella?" "Oh, having a little coffee this morning, are ya?" "Get off my road!"
7. Working at Valleyfair was the best job I've ever had... although, I gained a few teenage lbs. with all those pronto pups and mini donuts.
8. I've wiped way too many behinds in the past few years. And then I had kids. He-yo! Just kidding. I've wiped my kid's butts. I'm don't go chasing people with a bag of Charmin.
9. When I'm singing, my three-year-old yells at me to stop. Peace out, dreams.
10. I despise sanctimonious mommies, or "sancti-mommies," more than stepping on a lego or on a plastic dinosaur's tiny hand. (Editor's note: Have you ever stepped on that crap? Holy ouch.)
11. Packing a diaper bag is an art-form.
12. Awards should be given for feeding, bathing and keeping children alive on a daily basis.
13. My dog, Hank, makes me go from frustrated mess to loving creepy dog-owner in a span of minutes.
14. I will only have 14 items, because that's my favorite number and the number 15 gets too much cred.